Gavin just let himself be pulled in, pressing his face to Maxwell's
shoulder, his arms hanging limply at his side.
"I'm never there for anyone," he mumbled into the fabric of Maxwell's
shirt. "Beleth knew that. She didn't even expect any different, and nor did
Zevran. Because why would I help anyone?"
"Never is an impossibility," Maxwell murmured, head turning enough to rest his cheek against the elf's hair. "Maybe-- maybe that's the way it was, but that doesn't mean it will always be."
He touched the back of Gavin's neck, cupped the base of his head and kneaded gently.
He didn't reply immediately, just stood there, leaning against him,
slumped, with his ears hanging low.
"... Yeah." There was another long pause. "I just - I don't want to
disappoint you, Maxwell," he said quietly. "But I end up disappointing
everyone, in the end."
His eyes closed and he held Gavin firmly for a long moment, his heart thudding between them.
"You've already taken the biggest, Gavin. Recognizing a problem, and wanting to change it. Next--" He pulled back again, his thumb circling at the base of Gavin's head as he looked down at him. "We work on it together. Patience and understanding and trying."
"Gavin, don't apologize." And he was firmer then, the movement of his thumb stopping and he moved instead to cup his chin and ease him up to look at him. "Just be with me. Here with me."
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"I should have been there, but I wasn't, and I let everyone down again."
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He thought of the Ashara that had been with Zevran during the attack - he one that had almost died - and he pulled Gavin back to him again.
"There's no saying it would have been different."
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Gavin just let himself be pulled in, pressing his face to Maxwell's shoulder, his arms hanging limply at his side.
"I'm never there for anyone," he mumbled into the fabric of Maxwell's shirt. "Beleth knew that. She didn't even expect any different, and nor did Zevran. Because why would I help anyone?"
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He touched the back of Gavin's neck, cupped the base of his head and kneaded gently.
"You're here."
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He didn't reply immediately, just stood there, leaning against him, slumped, with his ears hanging low.
"... Yeah." There was another long pause. "I just - I don't want to disappoint you, Maxwell," he said quietly. "But I end up disappointing everyone, in the end."
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"You've already taken the biggest, Gavin. Recognizing a problem, and wanting to change it. Next--" He pulled back again, his thumb circling at the base of Gavin's head as he looked down at him. "We work on it together. Patience and understanding and trying."
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Recognizing the problem.
Oh, he recognized the problem, all right. But what did he do when the problem was him?
"... Yeah. Sorry, Maxwell."
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He let out a long breath, raising his eyes to meet Maxwell's and forcing a sheepish smile to his lips. No more sulking. He'd promised Zevran.
"I'm here."
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"And I'm so glad." He brushed his cheeks with his thumbs and leaned in to touch his lips lightly to Gavin's forehead.